Thinking of the past 11 years. I turn 21 this year.
Working of visual memory and recall, Goal is to be able to recall a moment at will, the full visual, the words on a page or the exact words spoken by a person.
AT present, Imaginary conversations fill my mind, quieting them and experiencing the world that is outside of my mind, fully. Then setting up times for meditation and self observation, at present I know I can experience, create, make, live, see, hear, feel, other realities. Astral realities, cyberspace realities.
Working on centering myself and my goals, the matrix is vast. Stopping the entertainment of unwanted thoughts. Specifically sexual fantasies that lately have been taking up a large portion of my consciousness.
A piece of writing, connected to self, tied into this reality, specifically most meaningfull to me, since I am the body that types it.
ReplyDeleteShould I be limiting myself to this human consciousness. Such a long time I have waited. such a short time I have lived, paralizing the eyes of my soul to keep me in this moment, tied to the keyboard, kept on lockdown, when will I have the crown., Status symbol of power, that is unwanted and sour.
Keeping the time, setting of bombs in my mind. mater and light being vibrations correlated by sight and kept under the flight of the /
How can I keep this up when there is no down, still thinking a bout a crown, . My reality I have made for me. keeping this tight knit closely on my own path of self discovery. Make a mistake and wait for the day when I can repay this exay/ . Other languages not known to me, learned by moments while still kept fresh in memory. having this typing. to keep me on track, feeling the pressure of the demons at my back,. Love sick countenance If there is only tso many ways that these english letters can be layed out with spaces and bold type faces. So am i too limited by these and thats. just sounds and symbols used to keep the soul feeding the mind. trying to build up. How can it of come up from grunt grunt to this shitty stunt of a language. Is there really the way of my word being controlled by what meaning I have put in these letters.
MAking it up as I go, its the only way I know. Waiting for my time to show. Looking for love. Keeping an eye on the sun. Remembering . learning; crying smiling. Filing all the thought convert patterns embedded in neurons kept in charge by what? what keeps a neurons charge? Tubicles. Oh Trying to remember the word for the cylinder like information transferring things that I saw a guy talking about in a video. This is the kind of thing that I am working on, not being able to recall on the spot something that I need to recall in order to grow and keep writing to keep learning and to keep living. Instead I rely on internet databases to store the information so I can search for it . Why not be able to recall the memory correctly, the memory is there in my mind aware of itself. but the word for the image of the tubes and information transfer is not present, this bothers me but look I have something to type about now at least.
ReplyDeleteWatching a not even three minute long video and how can so much information be transfered and showed in such a short amount of time. Cut and rendered, since it is not one continuous shot More images can be shown . even though it does not have a continuous flow of video, space time and mind form it into a meaningful experience.
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is going on, imagining a devil over my face, big discrace, . People sending hate, instead they should sit and meditate.
ReplyDeleteHere I am again at the keyboard, trying to make a plan. Figure if I type it all out I can understand. Why so many people are wanting the end. Death love life and liberty are some simple words you see but this can only be the biggining of the future every seccond ticking away. neurons making evolving connections trying to understand the infection.
ReplyDeleteWas it the soul that infected the brain or the brain that holds the soul locked in on its chain? Riding this crazy train like a goth black ozzy ozbourne lyric, the videos I see show some places where I want to be. Others I wish I could erase and then maybe I could stare at my face without looking down in discrace at this human race. we have to learn/ I have to learn. so I sit and type and turn in bed not sleeping untill the end. What can I do with my part of life? Something worth it something right. All the stories acumilating in my head keeping me out of bed. Tonight I drain my brain with visuals of other people, this shit is making me insane, Hold on the the pillow. Don't let it go. It feels like Im in the center of my own show. all the special effect making up the videos on telivision, full of lies tell lie vvision. yes this material reality is illusion but that doesnt make it any less real, . What are these feelings I feel, have to keep going to find the real. Searching for myself online, seems like a big waste of time. Exciting and typing like no one is watching, for I wak alone this night. I keep myself up tonight. Seriously thinking about how manny fucking sentences can be writing with the english alphabet, Is there only so much that can be said, I think of the bibble and its huge amount of words. me still just getting to the first verse. Everytime I open it up its like a message sent from myself . Sometimes it hurts other times its worse. Red ziggy lines trying to tell me that I need to check my spelling. jeeze how manny things can be said without repeating. I feel like listing the words I know, that would just be like the dictionary though so fuck, I still type. The earth is the insane assylum of the universe, I need to I want to I will to concentrate focuz be control examine live experience more of the astral. the dream, this waking dream is only part, The awareness floats through my eyes on the keys and in the screen with lights reflecting back into my eyes, talking to myself, here, typing to myself here. Hugo is the lable I have at the moment
There can Only be so much that I can type, fucking symbols keeping me up at night, reordering my head recording my thoughts keeping me out of bed repeating sneaking in rhymes trying to kill some time. isnt that all I cave time? So I gave myself the english language to express and live and bless and get dressed with a reason of the flesh , Where do these thought arise from, what source am I connected to right nw I hope to find out, there is a part of mindscape that is immagined of a place not eanting to be discuced, hate attatched to I will go to a more productive place, oh my lord why do I hear myself say the words as I type them> as I write them as I read them the sounds of the keyboards probably going inside my familys earholes as I sit here and type my life away, trying to learn the right way, being of something say, when will I make my day< see flying, dying crying, To be able to fly, I have done it, I have won it, I can fly I have died, I breatha nd I ive, There is only so much, or is the infite, suffering on my mind , keeping all the hungry children in mind, Even though this world is crule and hell separated from the light, lol I type, for what, oh yes I should get a more specific point, When I sleep tonight, or today or morning, I work on awareness, stoping the voices of my own thought keeping me from being me, trying to find myyself In a singer with the same name, That is not part of the game, somehow this all seems really lame and I should just go insane and be ina hospital with the real people that get its all insane and play and tame there own demons and angels and keep them and serve them, wo wait back up thats a odd picture im getting in my mind, somehow this is not right, should I go for the backspace button or should I keep on hunting deeper into the abisse of the deepest places of my mind where even I dont go all the time, fuck here goes Long pussy lips over a hard dick, fat pussy dripping wet with sweet nectar of a womans hot lips, should I keep going or is this sick> Oh ive read some sick stuff about dogs fucking humans, even seen videos, tainted my mind so now even at this time they come to mind when I should be concentrating on the devine, Instead I fall inline and keep my mouth shut, silently thinking, silently living, the images and the thought still live in me, the memories, still consume me, the peaces of lost soul still suit me, These split people, feeling evil, did i know evil backwards is live, i made a video of me called I'm alive, yet on the movie waking life on of the characters asys something about the biggest mistake a person can make is to think that they are alive. Writing it out still, i see a car in mind with blur rhims, the thought of fast ans the furiious comes to mind, it seems that every story has been told so there is no need to worry about originality . green high heals. dried up tears, uunkept fears, so I type about fear for a few lines. it holds, grastsp like two large dark talongs at my sides, like the bursting black wings at my back wanting to attack everything in sight. Thinking of rappers and there plight, how guns give people might. its not kool/
ReplyDeleteA few more words to spare, I wish to grow out my hair, It has a feeling of freedom like life without a care. So I shale once again grow my hair, I cut it lastime and it was a dispare. but Now I will grow my hair, What else is there? Bob marley comes to mind singing about hair, Hey I just erealized that this is a great excersize on seeing how one thought leads to another and chain reaction, so What about the original. What was the original thought, I ccould start from the biggining of this comment or the next. Yes one coment separates on from the other yet they are all on the same page so they still sound the same. one thought leading to another. Where does this chain lead to? sometimes it feels like its a chain around the universes neck, going round and round as it rocks out to the massive base sound of supernovas exploding. Wait I thought there was no sound in space? . How can that be> I need to research thee. No sound in space then how can I hear? How the hell can I head myself think?> How the fuck can I hear myself think? Is there not space in my head? That being if the head is wehere the thoughts are. some say they area dn i have come to thin so too myself, but there is allways doubt to think about. I go back to the question statement, How the hell can I hear myself think>?
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